By Joe Wallace and Colin Kirts
As originally published in The Cardinal - 11.2.2025
When longtime friend Bruce invited us to “hang out,” I definitely assumed that meant beers and a game. Not a hike. Not a campfire. And definitely not the most honest conversation I’ve had in years.
What a night. I don’t think I’ve ever cooked dinner in a pot like that, and then sat around a fire for hours. Especially not after climbing that peak. What a view! I forgot how gorgeous it is here. Right here. We barely had to drive anywhere. He mentioned we’d spend the whole day outside, but it didn’t occur to me what that really meant. So refreshing.
After the hike, when we were gathering wood, my brother Andrew brought up his son, Kevin. The worry in his voice was unmistakable—Kevin’s isolating himself. I heard that parental fear, when you know something’s wrong, but don’t know what to do. “Remember how we would go explore as kids, like today?” He’s right. We did. It was the norm.
Does my nephew ever really do that? Could he?
Oh, and that stew. Damn good. We need to cook more like that.
I wasn’t really listening to Max at first, if I’m being honest. Partly because I was eating, but we also haven’t seen each other in a while. Plus, it was just so refreshing to be looking up at the stars for once. They’re incredible. But then he said it: “I don’t know who to lean on.”
Max. He’s the one who always seems to have it together. Losing his job obviously shook him, but he’s in a great place with Kim… and us, so we thought. We were wrong.
He’s been carrying everything alone. Nobody offered advice. Nobody tried to fix anything. We listened. And that was enough.
And, that’s the point: I’ve been so busy performing my life. Projecting success. Staying busy. I’ve forgotten what matters, and what IS actually enough: connection. Real connection. The kind you can’t get through a screen, but that you have to show up for. Face to face.
When did that become so rare?
It’s so simple. It’s not like we had some epic Lord of the Rings style adventure. That would be awesome… But it doesn’t need to be like that. We just spent time together. Focused. Uninterrupted. Playful, even. Heck, running up that last part of the mountain was the most genuine fun I’ve had in months!
Until Bruce invited us up here, Andrew was feeling alone in his worry for my nephew and Max didn’t know who to lean on, and I had forgotten to be here for them! We’re all living our seemingly separate lives, and in many ways, we’ve confused being busy with being connected. We need more of this. THIS is enough.
How do I make this my norm? I’m texting Max and Andrew right now. Not “let’s hang out sometime.” That’s what I always say. That’s what we say, and it rarely happens.
“Friday. Your place or mine?”
Joe Wallace is the owner of Hey There Fella and Joe Wallace Design Co., and Colin Kirts is the owner of KORU Movement Studio, as well as New Hope Fire and Ice. Together, they have co-hosted local small group gatherings, and they’ll soon be announcing a retreat elsewhere in the country. Most importantly, they are undaunted advocates for men’s health, and they’ll see you on the next hike.
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